I was driving down the road a few months ago, thinking and dreaming about this book that I had recently started. A book that needed a title. Nothing fit. Nothing fit. Hmmm. I laughed out loud because I often say I don’t fit. Not completely, anyway. I’ve always been an outgoing introvert (which is possible, by the way) who loves alone time just as much as lunch with friends, and a long hot bath spent reading and reading (and reading some more) just as much as going to the movies with my boys, but none of that quite as much as I love a date with my husband. 🙂 Going to parties kind of stresses me out, but planning a party?!? I’m all in. I’m about as overly-sensitive as they come. Bossy. Controlling. A quiet observer who somehow can’t keep her mouth shut. I think it, I say it. And then, I often regret it. But then somewhere in there, typically bigger than most anything else is this worrier-people-pleasing-sensitive-to-others person who knows that most of those traits aren’t beneficial to me or anyone else.
Then, let’s throw that whole minister’s wife thing into the mix. Umm… I’m not that great at it. Or at least, I don’t think I am. But in the 12+ years since Brian and I started in church ministry (for him, his job, for me, supporting him), I have become increasingly determined to be real. Authentic. Transparent. Approachable. Broken pieces and all. Otherwise, I don’t really see the point. Ministry is messy. It’s hard. It’s amazing too, don’t get me wrong, but what I’ve found is that the hardest part isn’t loving on and encouraging people, it’s not praying for and crying with them either. It’s living up to the standards set, whether intentionally or not, by other church members, by church staff, and admittedly, by myself. And while, yes, there absolutely is a greater accountability set for those people in influence over others (teachers, ministers, etc. See James 3:1) and there should be, I don’t believe it means that we are to act as though we have it all figured out. And since I don’t, I won’t.
So after thinking through all of that, and the stories of things that had happened over the past several years (some funny, some not), it hit me. I’m a misfit minister’s wife. And I’m totally okay with that. This blog will be all about our experiences and what we’ve learned from them, with the intention of it all being to encourage each other. If you’re a minister’s wife too, then I pray this will make your heart happy… make you feel less alone… maybe a little relieved. If you’re not a minister’s wife, I hope this will help you understand us a little better, and if nothing else see that we’re just regular people trying to figure out this world that was never meant to be our home in the first place… just like you.
So… now that you know the why, I really hope you’ll stick it out with me for all the whats. And oh yeah… the whats won’t all be ministry-related. There are many other parts of life, and I’m excited to head out into this journey with you.
It’ll be an adventure. I promise.